When I was in high school I was sort of lost in an eating disorder. I wanted so badly to be "thin". Everyone in my family was tiny, my friends were tiny and the people I watched on TV were tiny. I remember doing sit ups through an entire awards show once (I think it was the Teen Choice Awards) because they were all so darn thin. My friends insisted I wasn't fat but they were a size 2 and I was a size 8. How could I not see myself as large? Celebrities I admired were 00 and in the business that made them "good". It was horrible and confusing.

I was 16 when American Idol started. I don't think I watched the auditions. I turned it on when they were deciding who would be in the top 10. And I saw Kelly. She was NORMAL. I heard her voice and knew she would win. They did the behind the scenes clips and she was funny and nice and a "dork". She was wonderful and beautiful and didn't need to be a stick figure to do it. My friends started watch AI too, along with the rest of America, and I told them every vote off night - "If Kelly gets voted off I would never ever watch that show again" and I meant it. Of course I didn't have to boycott the show because she won and I cried because in an interview her mom said something about Kelly being worried about all the skinny girls. But it felt like, for once, it didn't matter.

As Kelly gained fame her weight was in the media a lot. But she insisted she liked ding dongs. And really, who doesn't? Why are we so bad at admitting it? In a recent clip I saw about her SELF mag. cover shoot she talked about how she felt sorry for girls who don't have a booty because they don't fill out their pants. I cracked up and thought "this is why I'm such a huge Kelly fan".

Of course there is the music. But anyone who isn't a kelly fan because of her voice are nuts to me. How can you not love her music? Songs like Beautiful Disaster, Low, Because of You, Addicted & Hear Me seemed to talk to my soul. It's therapy in a CD case. Her CDs would stay in my stero for months. Now, My December, has taken up residence. I got the album the day it dropped and it has not left my CD player once. It's July 31st today. I can't get enough of it. She's raw and honest and we all need more of that in our lives. She gets personal and isn't scared to say there is nothing "perfect" here. And she does so with grace and dignity. Sober gives me hope and Haunted makes me think. Maybe makes me smile and Irvine makes me cry and Chivas..well I always laugh.

Her music is beatiful and real and SHE is beautiful and real. That is why I'm a HUGE Kelly Clarkson fan!